Stanley Murray, 1913 - 1980, Part 4 of 4: The Spoiler, His Grandpa Years

How this era began...

Margaret and I had great kids and they shared 20 grandchildren with us. We were blessed. We spent a lot of time with all of them. Big family dinners and holidays. Lots of outdoor activities and running all over town. They loved the Fireman’s Auction. So much fun digging through the boxes of sight unseen books and other treasures I would buy. A passel of them would go to parades and the Water Fights with the Fire Company in the summer. A couple at a time got to ride in the antique fire engine with me during the parade. I loved to line them up and hand them each a little pocket money to go have fun at the carnival.

I also enjoyed just quietly watching cartoons with them, plying them with Mountain Dew, my favorite.

“Wait, this is Kathy, okay, Kathy Lou…John’s oldest. I…yes everybody, I know, I know what you are going to say. Kathy Lou is Grandpa’s favorite. Well, you know what I have to say to that? I was first and I’m willing to live with that title. Back to my point. And, the favorite thing probably applies. Grandpa, remember you had Pepsi for me. Thanks to Aunt Sally, that was my favorite, still is. Drank it from a straw as a toddler holding court on the soda case at the station. The story goes, I could spell Pepsi before my own name.”

Some may say I spoiled that first one rotten. The soda and candy cases at the station was wide open for my girl. But, what is a grandpa to do with a new little girl when all of his are grown. I wasn’t the only one to spoil her. Her aunts did a pretty good job of it too. Go ahead; try and deny it. You can’t. And, if the truth be told, I spoiled them all.

“Grandpa, I remember…Oh, this is Joan, John’s third…us three girls, Kathy, Patty, now known as Trish and me, were coming to stay with you one summer and you were not there when we arrived with Mom and Dad. We were waiting on the porch and you and Grandma pulled into the drive. Grandma said, “he just had to go to the store. His girls were coming. You had bags of snacks and soda and candy. I guess we can’t say it was all Kathy.”

Yes, I spoiled them with goodies; but, behavior, that was another story all together. I wanted my grandkids to walk the straight and narrow. When I had my kids, I had a group of Deputy Sheriffs to help with that. By this time, I was one and working at the jail. I rounded up a few. It was after dinner, it may have been Thanksgiving. We loaded up and drove to the Bath County Jail. I gave them a tour. Showed them what the prisoners were enjoying for their meal. Not so good. And then I opened a cell and let them go inside to look around. While they were all commenting on how small it was, how lumpy the mattress was and lamenting that you couldn’t even see outside. I slammed that door shut and walked away.

“Hey Grandpa, this is John Robert, Robbie…John’s second. You remember, I dropped the Robbie in kindergarten when Mrs. Riggs informed me my name was John. Everyone else adds the Robert. Back to the jail. I remember that vividly. It felt like you left us there forever. And, all you said when you were letting us out was, let this be the only time you ever see the inside of a jail cell. In hindsight, I am sure it was just a couple minutes. But, you made your point.”

During this time period, I added a new career to my list. I became a teacher at Alfred Ag Tech SUNY’s campus in Wellsville. I had a bunch of new kids to impart some wisdom to. I taught carpentry and plumbing. The big trunk that sat in the parlor under the front window was a gift from some of my boys in the carpentry class. Margaret used to keep a huge Christmas cactus there. You know that giant thing began as a slip from Duane’s mom, Clara Coates. It was probably the only plant she was ever able to keep alive. Plants and flowers were my thing. I got that when I was at Alfred Ag Tech. But, I told you that already. I wouldn’t even let those pesky dandelions go to waste. I would pay the grandkids to help me pick ‘em out of the yard. Then I would make them into wine. Have you ever had dandelion wine?

Not all the grandkids lived right in town. But Sally’s and Anna Marie’s did. And, John’s were around mostly in the summer after they moved out of the area with Ellen’s, Catherine’s and Stan Jr.’s joining in the merriment quite often. All were in and out of our house like a swingin’ door.

These kids were and still are storytellers. I don’t mean the bad kind. Well, sometimes maybe; to get an extra ice cream or cookie out of their grandmother. They can weave a yarn with the best of ‘em. Anna Marie’s Mark would tell some whoppers. In the late seventies we built a house for Anna Marie’s family behind ours. Mark, when he was really little, would come over and tell the wildest tales of hunting elephant birds and turkey birds. The story got bigger and wilder each time he told it. I ended up in the hospital at Christmas. Anna Marie asked if there was anything I wanted. I told her to tell Mark to shoot me an elephant bird for my Christmas dinner.

“Grandpa, this is Steph…Anna Marie’s oldest, let me tell the rest. Mom scoured the stores and finally found a stuffed elephant. She sewed some wings on it, put it on a plate and wrapped it in tin foil. We took it to the hospital for Grandpa’s dinner.”

I laughed and laughed. It sure did add some joy to spending that last Christmas in the hospital.

“Tommy, Sally’s second here…I know everyone expects a funny story; but, not today. One of my favorite memories is when he took me to Alfred State College for the day where, as he said earlier, he was the Professor for the Plumbing and Carpentry programs. I made a wooden tool box under his direct supervision, of course. But, more importantly, I watched him interact and teach college students. For me, he was always larger than life. Not only did I witness firsthand the respect his students had for him, I’m forever grateful for all those times when I was able to be around him.”

Queue proud Grandpa tears. A bit of a story about the name Tommy. My great grandfather’s name was Thomas. I really wanted a grandson named Thomas. John tried, he named his third son Jeffrey Thomas. So I just called him Tommy. It worked. Sally went ahead and named her second Thomas, so I gave Jeff back his name. And, I had my Tommy.

“I remember…by the way, this is Dennis, your tag-along, I know you call me Denny, but that just doesn’t work on a law enforcement duty roster or a security name badge. So, I call myself Dennis now. We all have to grow up, right Tom? I bet your duty roster doesn’t say Tommy now does it?

Back to Grandpa. I don’t know exactly how he did it; but, Grandpa always knew who was coming in the front door without getting up from the couch or even taking his eyes off the cartoons on the TV. And, he would grab us and flip us onto the couch with him. Now, Grandma was big on us finishing everything on our plate, vegetables and all. Grandpa, well, let’s just say he was not as strict. Okay, I admit it, he would let us get right up and within minutes really, we were eating popcorn and drinking Mountain Dew in front of the TV with him.

Oh, and thank you for the car. We took good care of her. And, by we, I mean Dad. She was washed weekly and by washed, I mean detailed. Oil changed on the dot when it was due, who am I kidding, Du did it before it was due.”

Sally’s kids turned out to be the comedians in the family, I think. You wouldn’t know it by Tommy. He really is funny; I swear. They get it from their mother. Sally stays pretty quiet; but, when she gets going, she can match her kids for sure. You may have noticed, Donna, she tilts her head just so and even has a special voice just for when she is adding a bit of wit.

They probably think I don’t know what has been going on since I left Greenwood, but I do.

Sitting on my porch, well I guess I have to call it Sally’s porch now, along with their parents, sharing stories from their childhood. Hearing stories about Margaret and me. I am so proud of all of them. They have grown to be fine people with families of their own that are still returning to Greenwood each summer in mass to celebrate our family. We have teachers, Margaret is so proud; business men and women; a couple in law enforcement; and they all seem to have also followed in Margaret’s and my footsteps when it comes to helping others and being involved in their communities.

What a life I had. I loved Greenwood and still do. It was an idyllic place to grow up and to live a full and productive life. I can’t wait to hear Margaret’s version of our story next month.

Return for Margaret Murray’s story in October.